what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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