I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
