My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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