so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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