Dual....:-)
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
