Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
