If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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