I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just googled if crying burns calories
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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