i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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