took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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