Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
