new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
