Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
