I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
