put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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