I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
