can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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