It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
