he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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