She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
