So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
