no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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