we're blogging at a bar
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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