They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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