uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
