You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
