i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
