Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
