Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
