So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
