Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize