tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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