i don't plan on having that self control this summer
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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