This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
