Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Randomize
