i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
