i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
