So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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