Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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