his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
