How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
