meet me or not, i'm out of control
he was CRYING into my vagina
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize