I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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