it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
