Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
