Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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