Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Drunk is not a location!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
