On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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