I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
