I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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