At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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