i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
