Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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