I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
