Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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