yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
