operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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