You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
