I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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