That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
