I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
