dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Everclear isn't food dammit
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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