if only i could text you this smell
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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