that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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